Susan Boyle fanatics are out and about doing their Christmas shopping in countries around the world.
A number of American Subo fanatics are complaining about the snowfall in England, where they have flown on a private jet from the States. They said they have not seen so much snow - apart from the 'lines' on glass tops at some of the parties they have attended.
One of the Subo fanatics said that a group of them were chased down Oxford Street, in London, England, by the Abominable Snowman carrying a pint of beer and wearing a pork pie hat.
Her twin sister explained,
"When he came towards us he smelled of beer and tried to grab our bosoms with his free hand. So, we held up our red scarves to ward him off, said a quick prayer to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen, and threw a few blessings at him. It worked! He he quickly fled - well - staggered away shouting a very bad word at us, which we cannot repeat. It was the one that means our parents are not married".
When asked what type of gifts they were looking for one of the twins answered,
"Well, we are putting together giant hampers for the folks in Blackburn - in Scotland - as we know that without OUR help, most of the people in Blackburn will have nothing to eat over the holidays and their poor children will have no presents to open. It is such a slum and we have received many messages from our Lord and Saviour to do all we can to help these poor people. We know how they live because we have visited several times.
We have so much and they have so little.
The people of Blackburn welcome us with open arms every time we visit. We just don't understand why they have to wave axes, hammers and baseball bats though. It must be a Scottish custom. They yell greeting in Scottish but we don't yet understand their accents so we just smile and wave back.
Anyway, we are delivering the hampers very soon and in each hamper there will be a hand-made quilt will all of our names on, pictures of us all - we have the material squares specially printed, and of course Holy Scriptures."
When asked where they will be staying when in Scotland the twins answered in unison,
"With Susan Boyle at her new house of course. We've told her we're on our way. She'll be honoured to have us stay with her."
When asked why they hadn't contacted Susan to let her know they were on their way, they explained that they wanted to give her a BIG surprise and they asked us to promise that we wouldn't let her find out, for fear of spoiling the surprise.
The ladies are on a 2 week break from their stay at the Priory Clinic in London.
We will bring you more of this story as we get it.