Written by mattymc13
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Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for Bitter Disagreement in Subway Restaurant

This week I been undercover.

Wearing my trusty mac and suspicious hat, I have wandered in and out of many public places, attempting to witness spontaneous drama in the flesh. It took a while. Nothing occured in Blockbuster, McDonald's, KFC or Poundland. And the usual scuffling grounds of Hollywood Bowl, Pizza Hut and Hair on Broadway proved unsuccessful.

I was almost giving up hope, when I decided to wander into a Subway "restaurant" (and I use that term extremely loosely) to get a Chicken Temptation sub which, as you may or may not have heard, is back for a limited time only. The usual employee made it up in the usual fashion - Italian bread, cheese, toasted, lettuce, onion, and plenty of mayonnaise. I sat down to eat when the incident happened...

A scruffy looking creature and, what I can only assume was her boyfriend, wandered in. I had my back to them as they approached the counter, so I decided to put my eavesdropping ears on and have a good old listen.

"How much for a six inch sub of the day?"

"£2.29", the employee politely replied.

"That's a bit much... How much for a three inch?"

"We don't do three inch."

"Just cut the six inch in half."

Now, here she clearly had the employee stumped. In reality she is correct, but in the context of a Subway sandwich, she was just being plain ridiculous. After explaining to the creature that he had no way of entering a three inch purchase on the till (a problem I'm sure many prostitutes have suffered from), the creature proceeded to ask the daftest question I have ever heard.

"How much for two three inch then?"

One can only wonder where people like this come from.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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