Written by Kid Icarus
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for How a Man Can Grow a Fresh Cherry "Growing your own cherry is the only way."

With the problem of urban living there isn't enough available cherry trees out there for every guy to enjoy a fresh cherry. You either have to go to a cherry farm to pick a juicy cherry or you have to grow your own cherry tree. The key to picking cherries is timing because unlike some fruit, they only ripen off the vine and are taken very quickly. In order to get the maximum flavor, you should only pick the cherries that have just ripened.

If a guy plans on growing his own cherries, he would need space because living in an apartment does not provide even the minimum amount of space. Some men go through their whole lives without ever tasting a fresh cherry. Like scientist say, "It's survival of the fittest." It may be possible to buy fresh cherries if a person knows where to find a store that sells fresh cherries. If a man knows someone who sells cherries direct to customers then it would be a bargain but at a higher price.

In the big cities, there is a huge desperation for cherries and men that live in the city begin to hallucinate that old apples look like fresh cherries. It's even rumored that the Pope in the Vatican has never himself enjoyed a fresh cherry because of the lack of cherry trees in Italy.

Some men want to blame their parents for not providing them with at least one batch of fresh cherries during their life, but those thoughts are a waste of time because most likely their fathers never enjoyed a fresh cherry themselves. Some men get all the luck and others get nothing at all and that's the way conditions play out in life.

In the Middle East, each man is guaranteed a batch of fresh cherries as a marriage gift, but it's only because the territory is undeveloped and each family owns their own cherry tree.

Owning a home or renting a home in the suburbs is the only place that a man can reasonably expect to grow at least three cherry trees. Owing a home in a rural part of Texas, with plenty of land is a good way of growing hundreds of cherry trees and enjoying as many fresh cherries that a man can handle.

There is nothing sweeter than releasing the red juices of a cherry as it runs down a man's chins. If the cherry could speak, it would feel curiosity over it's consumption and discover it's satisfaction over it's new found joy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

43 readers are online right now!

Go to top