Just when everyone thought watching the teen masturbation-fodder DVD "Twilight:Eclipse" couldn't be more painful, self-proclaimed 'Twi-Hards' have found an easter egg on the DVD that, when activated, unleashes a second hideous audio commentary by stars Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner.
"There is not enough beer in the Universe to get me to watch 'Eclipse' with the first commentary track on, and now there's a second?" asked David Slade, the director of 'Eclipse'. "Unfortunately, Summit didn't pay me $22 million to badmouth this drivel, so..."
Some of the more interesting comments in the second commentary track include:
Stewart: "No, it's easy. You mix the pseudoephedrine from the cold pills with red phosphorus and hydriodic acid. Poof; Meth.
Pattinson: "I do not look like a foot. Why does everyone keep saying that??"
Pattinson: "Please, don't stop, OK?
Lautner: "Mmmm. Mmmmph."
Pattinson: "Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, oh, God.
Pattinson: "Yeah, yeah Ooooh! Wow."\
Lautner: "Bleeech. You eat a lot of asparagus, don't you?"
Stewart: "I could feel your, like, junk on my leg in this scene."
Stewart: "No, it's just... I didn't know you bought your c-ck from the kids section."
Pattinson: "Eat a sandwich."
Stewart: "Get a tan."
Pattinson: "Why the long face?"
Stewart: "Why the dinky penis?"
Pattinson: "What the f--k?!"
(For more, please read 174 'Twilight: Eclipse' Viewers Hospitalized By Robert Pattinson / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary, elsewhere.)