Written by masterchev
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Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for Born to Spoof: Chapter Eleven: Rebirth "There's something you have to see"

The light from the window seemed to be coming from a tiny little cabin. Curious, Skoob made his way from out of his hideyhole and pressed his face up against said window.

And then gasped.

He felt around in his pockets, then sent a message to the one person he felt could help.
*
Nick Hobbs paced the wreckage of the castle, muttering angrily as he noticed how Number 3.5 and 4 had so far failed him. They sat in the hospital wing, carefully monitoring events from afar.

No matter. Every single Spoof writer in existence, whether retired or not, had been dragged into this world.

His plan was coming together. All he had to do was to fly to Lancaster and capture the second most important person in the world.

He smiled, then ordered the clones to find the Renegades.
*
"A nun? That's a bit undramatic for a thirty foot floating God of Time," Jean commented from the side of his love, Number 3.

"Yeah, but we need to find this nun anyway. Maybe she'll have some religious powers or something," Charpa replied, gazing down at the wreckage of the Medieval town before her.

There was a light groan from below, and the satirical writers noticed that I was waking up.

"What happened?" I groaned, rubbing my head. As though through a sea of fog, I watched the forms of Charpa, Jean, Morse and Carina emerge into my eyesight.

Names. I knew their names.

"Masterchev! Welcome back to the land of the living," Morse commented wryly.

"What did I miss?" I asked, the figures becoming clearer.

"Basically, a giant Buddha like God emerged shortly after we broke out of prison. He commanded us to go on another fucking quest to find some nun in a convent or something."

"And we have to wear stockings!" Jean added sulkily.

"Yes, we have to wear stockings,"

I stared at Charpa for a second, half expecting her to burst into fits of laughter.

"And what actually happened?"

"A giant Buddha like God emerged..." Morse repeated, annoyance plain in his voice.

I smiled uncertainly, attempting to return to my feet. It was me again, that I was certain of. The past few days had been a haze of uncertainty, only flickers of events in the back of my mind.

And then in the midst of my reverie, the sound of a mobile phone broke the illusion.

"Very contemporary," Carina remarked, pleased she finally had a line. Jean reached into his dufflecoat and fetched his vibrating mobile, then stared at the words.

Come down the hill. There's something you have to see.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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