Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 4 December 2010

image for Born to Spoof - The Sequel - Chapter Ten Which nun is the right nun?

"I need a nun. Forsooth, I have waited so long to admit such a frivolous desire . Now I have said it and there is only ONE nun for me. I yearn, oh how I yearn for her. Your quest, should you accept it, is to search her out and deliver her to me," said the mysterious being in a voice that sounded much like Skooby Doo after sucking in helium.

Morse and Jeanlefete coughed in unison, each grabbing the other's crotch.

It was Morse who broke the deafening silence.

"What if we refuse the quest, oh wierdest one on high? After all, 'tis a stupid quest as you have failed to identify the particular nun who is the object of your yearning. "

"That minor detail is for me to know and you to find out," grinned the being. "I will giveth you a clue....she is not what she appears at first to be but she's a she and not a he and when you find out who she be then you will both understandeth me?"

"Bollocks! What the hell," muttered Morse, "This may be the only way we'll get back from whence we came so we do accepteth the quest and I speak for botheth of us.

Where shalt we find you oh strangest one - when we have completed the quest by findething the nun?"

"I'll be sitting on the loo in a pub on a corner of a famous TV street, doing a crossword. I will say no more as I must go and gird my loins in anticipation of the successful completion of your task.

I will wait with bated breath, a baited hook and half a pint of Ridley and Newtons best brew.

Begone and be warned. Should you fail to find the correct nun and deliver her to me wearing stockings and suspenders -then you will be doomed to write for the Spoof forever."

"I'm not wearing stockings and suspenders for anyone," yelled Morse.

"You blithering idiot...not you...the bloody nun", screamed the being, flames flaring from his nostrils.

"I knew that," grinned Jeanlefete, quietly removing his stockings and suspenders without anyone noticing and stuffing them into one of Morse's pockets.

A bolt of forked lighting came down from above and in a blink of an eye or two (it could have been more...no-one was actually counting) the being disappeared from view.

"Shit," said Jean, "Why did you agree to the quest and speak for both of us without even giving me a chance to put my two penneth in Morse?"

"Because you were too busy picking your arse, as bloody usual. We'd still be trapped here if I hadn't spoken out and accepted the quest."

"Ahem! " coughed Jeanlefete in a sarcastic tone, "Has it escaped your notice but we ARE still trapped here. Any ideas?"

Morse blushed, as only Morse can and tried to change the subject, as only Morse can, saying,

"Look, what light from yonder window shines?"

Jeanlefete looked in the direction of Morse's pointing finger and gasped....

Masterchev remained unconscious, obvlivious as to the 'goings on around him' as he was when conscious.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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