Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 27 November 2010

image for Born to Spoof Sequel: Chapter 9 Dark Ages You will go on a great quest!

When Mark finally came to he was in a white room on a ornate white poster bed. Bright sun shone through huge gothic castle windows and glinted off of the padlock that held his ropes taught. A light fog hung just off of the floor, making the whole thing seem very dream like to him. The ceiling was easily 60 feet tall, with paintings of angels.

"Your awake," said a soft gentle voice, but he could not see who spoke.

"Where bloody hell am I? Oh my head!"

"Awwww," said the voice, "Looks like you got hit by a gorilla or something."

"That's it! It had to have been Monkey Woods, the traitorous bastard! I never should have made him Featured Writer!"

"Calm yourself," said the voice soothingly, "You're in good hands."

"Who are you?" ask Mark, "Why am tied up like this."

"I am Lady Godiva, I am the head nun of this academy. Thou art here to get in touch with your feminine side though."

"Thou art what?!" cried Mark incredulously, "And what do you mean "though"

"Shhhhsssshhh!" said Lagy Godiva, "Girls though! He is ready for his first session, prepare the the treatment though."

The giggling of several hundred female voices entering the room was overwhelming.

***

When the prison exploded Jean Le Fete carried the nearly unconcious Masterchev out onto the lawn of the town square, near Charpa and Captain Morse. The Gerbils from Hell were busy spinning the giant wheel. Chinese lanterns lit up the outside as it turned in the wee morning hours.

"Where is #4?" asked Jean le fete.

"She took off on her horse...in the direction of the Sherrif's office I think," replied Charpa

Just then there was blinding flash of light and thunder, followed by smoke, a white haired bearded man with albino eyes appeared in front of them. He wore a silk kimono and stood with his hands straight out from his sides. He floated about 20 feet in the air."

"My god!" said Charpa, "Is that Jesus Buddha or ...John Cleese? He's so skinny now!"

"Silence!!!!" commanded the voice of the being.

"Wow, that was juat like surround sound." whispered Captain Morse in awe.

"You have broken the fabric of time! Your reckless travel has created a dire emergency that I am forced to deal with. I was to meet my fiance #4.5 for tea at a normal location in at a normal bistro, but now were forced to reschedwall for the next leap year. What do you have to say for yourselves!!!"

"Ummm, I know a nice place near Heathrow sor, you could..." started Jeanlefete.

"SILENCE!!! Imbecile!!", replied the being, "I was being rhetorical god damn, don't you know anything about fantasy fiction!? Blimey your all twits! Where the hell did you think you were taking this plot?" he asked then added in a mocking voice, "Oh I love you number 3...Oh let's put the gerbils in a wheel...OOOOOOO, let's have a sheriff try to round up the SPOOOFERs. WHAT RUBBISH!!!"

With that he pointed a finger at the Sheriff office, fire and rockets fired from him demolishing the front of the building and setting it ablaze. He fired at the Gerbil wheel, it too went into flames and began rolling down the street. The smell of roasting gerbil filled the air.

"Now let me explain to you what you have done. You have collapsed the freakin' time portal so badly it will take months for me to repair, but no matter...You will be to freakin' busy to worry about going home to your latte's and chess games...You will go on a great quest and bring me something I need......."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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