(Written by Inhopeless's niece Sarah, aged 10)
Hello. I'm Sarah! This is the Newz for Kidz! The 'z' makes it cooler. I'll tell you all the stories that the mean grown-ups won't tell you.
Firstly, several hundred young girls have been involved in human trafficking in Britain. Some have been found raped, malnurished, confused and sometimes dead. Eww, gross. Like Gary Frank's bogeys!
Also, a lots of snow will fall on Europe over Friday, nearly 5 centimetres (that's over 2 inches) will cover many urban areas, meaning no school! School is boring.
A North Korean military barrage landed on a South Korean island killing two, injuring seven. Those foolish people. Uncle Inhopeless... I wonder why he uses such funny names on the internet... says that the sides have been fighting even before he was born. That must be a long time ago, cause he is like... a kajillion years old.
A new album by rock band My Chemical Romance has debuted at #20 on the Billboard charts. Uncle Inhopeless says that its really good, but I don't know. All that noise is bad for him. It's not Justin Beiber. He is so cool, but don't tell uncle. He doesn't like him, maybe cause uncle has no sense of fun.
That's all for Newz for Kidz. See you next time uncle gets writers' block!