Kim Soon Wok today offers us a traditional North Korean recipe called, Boiled Dog's Feet in Rice Broth with Happy Baby's Pudding.
Forward: Kim is a third cousin of Dear Leader Kim Jong Il, twice removed, and step daughter of his great half brother's unofficial consort in Bangkok. She holds the kitchen rank of People's Cook 2nd Class and is also a Major in the auxiliary of the 13th Bayonet Charging Angry Birthers of Korean Sons Who Served The Dear Leader With Grace and Fortitude.
- Boiled Dog's Feet in Rice Broth with Happy Baby's Pudding
* Begin by choosing a fairly well fed wild dog from your hamlet and tying it to a post with strong rope. Then be pleased to use a good rice linen roll for binding wounds to wrap around the dogs snout to prevent resistance.
* Next, proceed cheerfully to your regional directorate of implements and retrieve a heavy hoe or spade for breaking ground for planting... or splitting the heads of capitalist pig Americans (tee hee!) and sever dog's head from its body mercilessly. Please do not be displeasured by dog's howls of protest as you carry out this work joyfully content in personality!
* Please to allow dog to bleed until the body is flaccid and drained of fluids. You may store dog's bodily fluids as nutrient supplement for delighted children who hunger from serving the blessed state in the fields of labor. You will also feed to baby to assure good supply of pudding for this dish.
* Using implement for severing dog's head, cleanly sever all four feet and hide them carefully under bed to both age and protect from wandering capitalist gangs from false state to our south. Please to place remaining dog on rope to hang from door nail to be picked up by glorious and brave soldiers in service of our enlightened Dearly Beloved Leader whose name I cannot mention out loud to people from the evil world that surrounds us and causes harm to all that live.
* Next, go to Sunny Twice Happy State Daycare to retrieve family infant. Bring home to gently feed a small amount of stored fluids from dinner dog. This should provoke baby's intestinal tract to produce over abundant serving of pudding.
* Place baby's bountiful pudding in pot and simmer for 30 minutes. Then take the feet of the generous dog and wok them on stick fire until brown around the toenails. Place browned dog's feet into baby's pudding with flour of rice stem and heat over same stick fire until meat falls from bones.
Please to serve gratified family in honor of Dear Leader over a bed of rice husks and consume slowly to allow body to deeply appreciate generous harvest nutrition.
Serves a village of 5,575.