Written by Lady Godiva

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Thursday, 25 November 2010

image for Royal Wedding Will Directly Affect Exam Results in UK Hey! I don't give a damn about anyone. I'll soon be a member of the Royal family

"Royal wedding could disrupt exam build-up, teachers warn. Head teachers have warned that the timing of the royal wedding could cause problems in schools because it falls just days before the national Sats tests."

What a load of shit. This 'observation' is front page news in UK.

So, students who are 'sitting' exams or SATS around the date of the Royal Wedding...you now have an excuse (or way out) for not performing well...for receiving poor results. It won't by YOUR fault, it'll be the fault of the timing of the Royal Wedding.

Even if you don't give a damn about the Royals (and I am well aware most of you DON'T), use it and milk it for all it's worth. You seem to have the backing of your teachers and head teachers. They are EXPECTING YOU ALL TO 'PERFORM' BADLY SO DON'T DISAPPOINT THEM. THEY NEED TO BE PROVED RIGHT!

GO FOR IT! Don't worry about 'studying' or 'results'. You have it in black and white in newspapers country-wide - it's Wills and Kate's fault.

Go out and party. Don't study. Your arses are covered by the journalists quoting the comments and concerns of your teachers and head teachers.

Let's hear it for the journalists, teachers and head teachers! To the journalists: ' Way to go you clever, so-called 'educated' idiots who steal articles from The Spoof and post them on your online papers getting paid for them. Creeps and cretins. Look what you've done now. As if you bloody care. 'Bottom feeders'.

Also - how can those Royals NOT have thought of the poor students when they picked the date for their wedding? That's just not right. You should both be ashamed of yourselves.

Or was that your intent? - to have many of your subjects 'fail' in their educational endeavours and therefore NOT able to follow their dreams, leaving them feeling worthless and, thereby, looking up to you.

Keep in mind that they are not ALL stupid and many will be thanking you for giving them a reason (excuse) for slacking off. Kudos to those students who 'figure it out'.

It's criminal really (not my opinion). Wills should change the wedding date until after the exams and SATS (which - as a teacher - I am totally against by the way - SATS I mean - but I'm in the minority who will admit to it. I teach in Canada and it's called EQAO).

On second thoughts, the Royals have actually done the kids a favour.....think on it and re-read this article.

Way to go Wills.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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