Written by Lady Godiva
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Thursday, 18 November 2010

image for The Royal Engagement as seen through the eyes of Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones from Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough ARGOS Special. This week only. See catalogue for details.

Spoof writer, Lady Godiva, recently caught up with two of her favourite characters, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both hailing from Middlesbrough, Cleveland (?) England.

Lady G. met the girls in their favourite restaurant at Morrison's Berwick Hills, Middlesbrough branch.

When asked their opionions on the recent 'Royal Engagment' Takwana commented,

"Oh yeah! A did 'ear summat about one of those princes getting engaged. A was be'ind this woman in the queue 'ere yestiddy. She was tellin' 'er mate summat about one of Charlie's lads gettin' wed next year and givin' 'is gerlfrend a second 'and ring. Dead cheap A though'."

"Yeah! A though' tha' meself," interjected Anitakapita.
"A used engagement ring. What's tha' all about'? Think with all 'is money 'e could buy 'er a NEW one. They've go' sum dead guddens in ARGOS."

"Wo' really freaked ME ou'," added Takwana,"is tha' someone told me it was 'is mother's engagement ring. A thought tha' were really a bit sicko. A was wonderin' if she 'ad i' on when she 'ad the accident."

"Yerrano wo' ya mean Takwana. Don't think A'd like to wear i'. Gi' me a new one from ARGOS anytime. A mean...it could be cursed like couldn't i'?"

"Anyway, which one o' the lads is i' ooz engaged? 'Arry?
Andrew? Edward? John? Paul? Ringo? (giggles) A gerram all mixed up," joked Takwana, "A wonder if Susan Boyle will be invited to the weddin'? 'Spect she will coz she's 'up there with the Royals' now int she?"

"Yeah! Subo is gonna be there. Deffo! She'll probly sing too. Dead good she is."

Lady Godiva continued to speak with the pair for two hours.

More to follow.

Morrison's Special this week is:

Two loaves for the price of a pair.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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