Written by P.M. Wortham
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Saturday, 13 November 2010

image for Parody Week: Fast Food California

Not so much a TV theme parody, just a favorite song that plays into the truth and partial injustice of the fat American persona. To the tune of Hotel California.

On a dark SoCal highway, warm smog in my hair
Warm smell of fresh pizza, rises up through the air
On the right past the stop sign, I saw a glowing red light
My stomach growled and my will wore thin
I had to stop for a bite.

There she stood at the counter;
I heard the dinner bell
And I was reaching down for change,
But without enough cash it was Hell
Then she pointed a finger, towards the opposite wall
There was a brand new ATM,
I knew I could have it all...

Welcome to our Fast Food California
Got a drive through?
I'm really on the move.
Plenty of chow at the Fast Food California
Any kind of fare
You can find
it there

The road was blissfully twisted, as if just for my Mercedes Benz
It threw me hard from side to side, just like the asphalt intends
I was forced to pull over, blow my chunks out the door.
Close to sunrise still hungry, I had to get me some more.

So I stopped at McDonalds
'Please bag me some fries'
He said, 'We haven't served that item here since we opened at seven o' five'
Options were biscuits and sausage, it would just have to do,
'Give me three with a coffee, strong'
'I've got to get back on the move'

Welcome to our Fast Food California
Got a drive through?
I'm really on the move.
Plenty of chow at the Fast Food California
Any kind of fare
You can find
it there

Billboard signs still glowing,
Whoppers are One-Ninety-Nine.
Twilight fades with this new day, but still need an option to dine.
Taco Bell has a two-for,
Burrito Supremes as the meal
An oxymoron of the highest degree,
But you just can't beat the deal.

Last thing I remember, I had my
Right foot down on the floor.
I had to make Pasadena,
For a Wedding at Four.
"Chill out" said the DJ
"Smooth programming awaits"
"Right after these commercials"
"for Wendy's New Combo Plates"

Welcome to our Fast Food California
Got a drive through?
I'm really on the move.
Plenty of chow at the Fast Food California
Any kind of fare
You can find i
t there

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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