Written by matthatt

Print this
Tags: Acne, dating

Thursday, 11 November 2010

I just found a sodding zit, and I'm about to have a date
Do I pick it? Do I squeeze it? The taxis here, too late!

I'll dab some extra aftershave and hope that it dries it out.
The taxi drivers bibbing his horn and I have Vesuvius on my snout.

I'm looking sharp and clean and I'm hoping she wont notice.
The taxi driver looks at me as if I could do with a mustard poultice.

All the while I'm in the car, I'm looking in the mirrors.
The taxi hits a speed bump and the growth it visibly quivers.

It aint no good, I cant do this, I'll call her on the phone,
and say I have an illness and have to stay at home.

Oh crap we're here already, I wasn't even looking.
I give my nose one last check to see how the puddings cooking.

Its looking fat and shiny like a polished bottle top.
I'm scared that if I move my head the blasted thing'l pop.

OK, there's nothing for it, I'll have to see it through.
Even if it goes off in her face and she ends up covered in goo.

As I get out the taxi She's right outside the pub.
Oh joy of joys, she's spotty too. I think that I'm in love!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


28 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more