Written by victor nicholas
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Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Ventnor Woman Drops a Plate It was no trouble really

Marjorie Stevens 67, of 10 Bettsworth Crescent, is reported to have dropped a plate yesterday.

"It was everyday, not Royal Doulton, hardly news really."

"I don't see what all the fuss is about, it was just a plate, now it's broken to bits, I suppose you could blame the hardwood floor if you wanted to but I'm just as well to blame, carelessness is what caused it, carelessness."

"I was putting it in the cupboard after dishes when it slipped and fell and next thing you know a reporter is knocking at my door and asking questions before I even had a chance to sweep it up."

"Mary was her name, she was here over two hours asking questions, trying to make more of a story of it than it's worth if you ask me."

"You would think that there would be more newsworthy things such as crime and robbery to report on with all those people from Portsmouth coming here on the weekends. Some say that tourists are coming here are from other countries as well though I am hardly the expert when it comes to accents, never had the ear for it, may as well be from Scotland for all I know."

"I tried to show her my roses and petit-point but she would have none of it, I suppose that's not stuff for newspapers these days like a broken plate seems to be."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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