Written by UWGB-Beek
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Monday, 1 November 2010

I love claiming that I am a good Catholic, and feel I should share a few ideas about what it means to be a good Catholic, like me.

You need to make sure you brag about your faith, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to make sure people see that you are at Mass, so sit where everyone at Mass can see you, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to read the scriptures at Mass, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to make sure that you give a large amount of money to the Church, so they can overlook their rule about divorced parishioners receiving the Eucharistic, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to go to Confession, because you never know when you might sleep with someone close to you, and need to ask a Priest to forgive your sins, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to pray to Mary, because praying to Jesus is just too Protestant and too close to what Jesus said, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to speak out about your government being run by a bunch of Communist, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

You need to speak highly of the Pope, even if he sticks to dogma and not the Bible, because that is what a good Catholic like me does.

Don't worry if you can't do all the things I mentioned, it takes a lot of time for most sinners to become like me.

Go in peace!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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