Written by Proffitt
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Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for What the f**k is a quango? The 'Can you make flies dance' quango was crap

Well it's not an extinct bird from the rainforests of Madagascar or a fancy drum played by the homeless on street corners. For those of us that care the most simple definition has to be they are black holes for our cash.

Yes, for the last 10 years these so called think tanks and department supervisors have been hovering up tax payer's cash like an Essex girl snorts coke on a Friday night, but now it seems the parties over and many are updating their CV's!

'Am I boverd?' I hear you say, well yes, I am and I want to know where our money gone?

Who agreed to the 'How hot is it in the Maldives' quango where 7 representatives decided to pop over there for two weeks and measure the temperature at various times of the day, while sat in various locations such as beeches, bars and night clubs!

And, what about the 'How much internet porn is out there' quango which had 25 individual men locked in rooms with boxes of hankies for two weeks. The story goes many of them never went home, instead deciding to stay locked away for days on end.

'But what about the good quangos,' I hear you say, 'the ones that we complain to.' Well there is Ofcom, Ofwatt and Offtwat or something like that. These were the so called bodies we called when we were overcharged or let down by the various conglomerates who feed us electricity, gas and the like.

Truth is these so called 'police of the corporations' had about as much power in British law as Louis Walsh does on the X Factor. These were simply jobs for the extended families of ministers! No formal qualifications, no real chance of holding down a meaningful career but related to the wife of a government minister, then sit on a quango and get paid thousands.

So, what is the most bizarre quango ever? Maybe it was the one set up last year to decide if we really need quango's?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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