Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 13 October 2010

image for Where on Earth is Montenegro? Where is Montenegro?

Still hunting through maps for Montenegro and having discovered it is not in Africa, I must say I've drawn a complete blank.

A 0-0 blank in fact. What a dismal display from England. I realise that breaking legs must be the means by which the Montenegro defence have maintained a clean sheet for so many games and that the referee's idea of fairness is to award an equal number of fouls and yellow cards to both sides (you need him George Osborne!)and that England should have had a penalty BUT...

Montegero were nearer to winning than we were. The best bit of football was when their ball handler hit the bar with a superb shot - using his foot as well!

Capello could do worse than coach his team in taking free kicks. How I wished for the Beckham touch - just 15 minutes if you like, but have him on the bench.

So a footballing country too small to be on a map with a population the size of Ashby-de-la-Zouche. Well, about and I've always liked that name, better than Montenegro any day.

But to return to the subject, if we must. All those bribes over Strictly Come, with the delectable Anne Widdicome, to get my two hours in front of the box and England let us all down with a slow squelch. Look how old Bruce Forsyth is and he can still perfom - so how about David Beckham?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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