Written by masterchev
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: Wales

Sunday, 10 October 2010

A land where everybody's surname seems to end in Jones, Evans or Davies: and isn't incest.

A land of mountains so tall, you'd be stupid to use the train which conveniently runs alongside them.

Where the sea meets the land and laughs at the football team along with the rest of the world.

Welcome to Wales.

English since 1282, Wales is a unique little place with it's own culture. People who are of the belief that the Welsh are sheepshaggers are completely wrong- it's the sheep that shag us so to speak. And as for the old safe sex in the mountains, we practically invented that one too.

The welsh invented rugby following the ultimate failure of football. People kept kicking and missing the goal by several hundred metres. So we made the posts a bit bigger and changed the shape of the ball.

Many of us can sing, but don't let that get you down! Nothing beats a welsh sing-song in a pub: we're a lot more advanced than the old coal miners choirs thanks to Thatcher!

There are more castles than you can shake a stick at, which in the 1200s was probably an offense. In fact it may still be today.

Where we don't really have much good food of our own. And we stick English words into the language such as "Teleffon" and "Printwr".

Where Rhod Gilbert is an under-worshipped God, while Gavin Henson is an over-worshipped sod.

Give us a chance. Wales is just one of those places you won't find on a map if you don't look hard enough.

Because cornerstones were designed to be beautiful.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

57 readers are online right now!

Go to top