Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 6 October 2010

image for An Unlikely Dream Maths aid for George Osborne

I had this dream about the Tory Conference. George Osborne alienated his core voters and the Daily Mail had apoplexy. Cameron apologised for the gigantic cock up and said sorry for the atrocious mathematics, but it was all because of the mess left by Labour.

Boris tried to get the limelight and failed. Warring factions threatened to cause problems. LibDems complained they didn't know about the blunders which they might have helped Osborne to avoid.

Osborne said he loved Vince Cable. Ken Clarke said prisoners should work but forgot to say how much it would cost to pay them.

Tories openly complained to the BBC for not going on strike during the Conference. It was seen as a plot to reveal their inability to add and subtract.

I haven't woken up yet and look forward to the aftermath of October 20th when the Grand Jamboree is promised.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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