Paris Hilton who was denied entry into Japan is still in Japan.
Unbeknown to most, Paris Hilton was permitted to hang out in Japan after sending a stand-in home instead. "The stand-in is me regardless of the fact that I am here because as long as she left Japan then technically I left because she is me, that way I can continue on as me while she is me outside of Japan since I am not allowed in Japan." Paris told a confused group of reporters. "But now that I am gone, I can continue on my rich-ass way in Japan and do what ever I want because I am not here.
One reporter asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"It's very simple," she said. "I hired this girl to be me whenever things don't go my way so that I can have things my way. She is on call 24 hours a day and travels wherever I go but stays out of sight until she is needed. It's no different than having a stunt double in the movies," she continued. "I mean it's like actress can't afford to get hurt when making a movie; instead they hire someone to get hurt for them. Like just last week when I was arrested in Vegas, I was arrested but she stood in for me and went to jail. It still counted as me even though I still got to go party because as long as she was in jail, I was in Jail."
"Are you kidding?" A reporter hollered from the back.
Paris put her hands on her hips and glared at the shrinking reporter. "Well no, why would I lie? I still had cocaine in my crouch less panties. I couldn't go to jail and let it all go to waist, besides I had just cut it and it was real good shit."
The group of confused reporters began to walk away when one asked, "Since you are not here in Japan but back in the states then how will you get back into the states since you are already in the states?"
Paris grabbed the microphone and put it to her lips. "Who do you think you are?"
"Truybill, reporter with the "Spoof."
"Well, I like your style, lets go continue this at my Hotel that I am staying at but not really staying at, because I'm not really here and have sex that you wont be able to brag about having with me since I'm really not here."
"Ok, but one more question first. Since your not really here and it won't count as having sex with you because you're in the states and I'm here, does that mean I won't get any STD'S since I wasn't really having sex with you because you're in the states?"
Paris turned to her Attorney, "My client cannot answerer that question due to the technicality that she is not here to answer that question."
"Hell, that's good enough for me, lets go."