Written by mikewadestr
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Saturday, 25 September 2010

In the process of sorting out the Arlington Cemetery fiasco where people were buried in mismarked graves, the workers made a startling discovery when they found the body of Jimmy Hoffa inside of Glenn Miller's coffin. Where Glen Miller is buried, is anybody's guess, but hopefully the six foot Glen Miller is not buried in the grave of the five and a half feet Jimmy Hoffa.

"Man this whole thing is really bizarre", said the head grounds keeper. "You would not believe the stuff that we have uncovered here. We were sorting out the graves and found two mismarked graves by Glenn Miller and just for the heck of it, we dug up Miller's and found a short guy with a tire iron stuck in his mouth. Honestly, no one here could ever remember Glenn Miller playing the tire iron".

"We had a DNA specialist come down and do some test and the next thing you know, they tell us its Jimmy Hoffa. That led us to doing some more digging around and what we found out was astounding".

"When we dug up Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren, we found, of all people, Robert E. Peary and two of his huskies. Then we went and dug up John F. Kennedy's grave and found author Dashiell Hammett buried with a copy of Playboy magazine. In Medgar Evers grave we found, of all people, Benjamin Franklin, who is not even supposed to be buried in Arlington Cemetery".

"But, when you think about it", the grounds keeper continued. "It really shouldn't be a surprise since Benjamin Franklin did get around".

"Hell, we even dug up the ground under the discarded tombstones on the river bank and found a mess of C&P telephone repair men. Which we initially thought really odd, but then again, back in the day, C&P was fricken everywhere and for the most part, all of their repairman worked like they were buried in the mud".

"The kicker was when we dug up the grave of Thurgood Marshall and found Ulysses S. Grant. Now this really makes you wonder":

"Who the hell is buried in Grants tomb?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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