Hog Jaw, Arkansas - (Where?!?) Hog Jaw, Arkansas - Greetings everyone, we are at the corner of 1st street and Main in Hog Jaw Arkansas, awaiting the motorcade of Zsa Zsa Gabor and her entourage, also her groom, only known in these parts as Charpa. In fact we have a local person here, Finnious McGee, who says he has the low down on Zsa Zsa's groom to be.
"The problem with you Papparazzi's is you don't even know what yer talking about, Charpa is really a..." Horn's honk loudly as the motorcade and secret service agents crowd the once deserted small town street.
Bill Clinton gets out of a limousine accompanied by an ancient looking Catholic Priest in white robes. Bill survey's the area, "Okay everyone, let's use the diner, I'm told by my old friend Able Rodriguez they have the best Rocky Mountain Oysters in Arkansas. Hey don't forget Zsa in the ambulance back there...oh and make sure you get the groom out of the trunk. Where's the priest?"
"Roll me closer darling. Hold that I.V. upright, it has champagne in it darling. I don't want to miss a drop."
"Zsa Zsa, Jeanlefete here, may I ask you and the groom some questions?"
"Why certainly feet darling."
"How long have you known Charpa?"
"Oh, I don't know him darling, I just met him through Bill."
Inside the diner the smell of fried food is stronger than Hillary's perfume. A huge wedding cake takes up an absurd amount of space in a room full of celebrity, local and international.
The wedding march starts on the player piano and Bill yells instructions, "Places everyone! This is not a rehearsal! This is it! I've got an important date!...er I mean Hill and I have a plane to catch!
Just then the cake explodes and out pops Jesus Buddha from the Spoof, frosting hits everyone and the candles start several small fires. Pandemonium ensues. "This wedding is officially cancelled," yells Bill, "Head for the hills!"