Dear Doctor Dorothy.
I recently had to visit a proctologist as I had an inflamed prostate. The examination was uncomfortable, but otherwise fine, however, since that examination, I cannot stop farting. Will this subside on its own, or should I go back to be vented?
Yours, A R Strumpet of Levenshume.
Dear Arse Trumpet.
First off, there is no need to be coy about admitting your first homosexual encounter. An inflamed sphincter is perfectly normal, and the air problem will subside on its own, or with repeated encounters with your new boyfriend. What is more concerning is your refusal to admit your new found sexuality in the anonymous pages of this problem section. I suggest your partner can help with coming to terms with your awakening. Failing this, there are a number of good psychotherapists who can ensure you are comfortable or suggest you become heterosexual.