Continuing the sensational Pinxit Exclusive with Presenter Christine Bleakley...
The Irish stunner walked off the "Hell's Kitchen" set claiming that TV Chef Ramsay had performed 'indecent acts' to her. I continue my shocking fabricated interview and hear Ramsay's explosive reaction to the allegations...
Bosom heaving, an emotional Bleakley went on with the story in her own words. "'Knocking one out.' he said. Sweet Jesus!! I didn't know where to look. I turned away in revulsion as the beads of sweat showered off his brow and his hand movement under the table-top intensified. All the time those ice-blue eyes were staring directly into mine. 'Yup, knocking out a stiff one for you' he leered. I was gobsmacked and just looked at him. 'Come on Christine, for the second part of the episode where you're supposed to make the meringue' he said. Then he pulled out a bowl of a gooey peaked mixture with his other hand and chucked it on the kitchen top."
"By now I thought he was playing a sick joke on me. He was still going on, so he was, hand shaking up and down under the table and making grunts and a funky face as if he was sucking a lemon..." Christine's voice trails off momentarily as she collects her thoughts, "So I thought, alright Christine, I'll go along with this wind-up, 'new presenter, first day on set' and all that. So I say to him 'I suppose you'll be telling me that you're 'tossing off' a quick salad next, eh? Haha.' Y'know, thinking that I've called his bluff and we'll have a good laugh about it."
She pauses to catch her breath, " 'No, I'm beating...' he says in a wheezy voice. 'OK, you mean an egg now, don't you Gordon?' I replied in a jokey way. That's when he went all serious." Christine looks intense.
"Now I'm looking for a way outta there as the bastard says to me something like 'Don't be fucking stupid sugar-tits... I'M BEATING OFF! If you think the bollocks on my chin are eyepoppers...Take a look at this! ' He then starts to move away from behind the table and come towards me and... thank God, the Studio Manager and crew come back onto the set from coffee break!"
Christine puffs out her cheeks in relief, trembling at the memory of the images she's just described. "I mean, Adrian ('One Show' co-presenter Chiles) has never done anything like that. Although he did once ask if I fancied going out with him and 'seeing the Baggies'. Anyway, I've quit the show. I want nothing more to do with that scrotum-faced pervert."
Questioned on his version of events and alleged comments, an angry Ramsay explained "For fuck's sake that's fucking bullshit! It's just me. Full of beans, jizzed up, always hopping around in front of camera like I've got St. Vitus'-fucking-Dance. I'm a spunky guy. Look, Christine's a lovely looking girl but, y'know, she's... (he puts his index finger to the side of his head and makes a 'crazy circle' motion) ...one caper short of a fantastic fucking focaccia."
When asked to comment on Ms Bleakley's allegation that Ramsay had invited her into a studio hospitality truck to 'Try my coq-au-vin, it's got me all over it.' he retorted, " 'Me all over it'?. That's just another way of saying it's a 'Ramsay Signature Dish', drizzled over with my own exquisite creamy jus. You don't get three Michelin fucking stars for turning out buckets of Kentucky Fucking Fried Chicken y'know. Now fuck off."
Ramsay's Press Secretary later issued this statement: 'Gordon would like to make it clear that he has never been an exhibitionist nor a wanker. No, really.".
Mr. Ramsay, whose restaurant empire is collapsing around his ego, was released on bail pending psychiatric evaluation.