Written by anthonyrosania
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Monday, 30 August 2010

image for Looking to Beat It with a real J.O. Bro In A Profound Spiritual Act Of Consensual Hetero Awesomeness. That's me. Hey, don't forget, I'm not gay. If you try to kiss me, I'll make you stop in, like, 10 minutes.

Looking to Beat It with a real J.O. Bro In A Profound Spiritual Act Of Consensual Hetero Awesomeness.

Date: 2010-08-30, 5:13PM EDT

I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity.

Requirements:
-access to an abandoned warehouse
-old enough/built kinda awesome
-maintains good eye contact
-general intensity
-cool moves
-shades
-leather jackets (I had a Thriller jacket once, but I wore it to a Onyx concert at Eakins Oval in 2002, and... - long story, I can tell you when we finish)
-Bedazzler
-basic knowledge of knife/sword/custard-swapping etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me)
-can lift 80 lbs
-bachelor's in something or equivalent experience
-not a narc

Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I'm a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play "Beat It" over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you're the heter-bro I'm looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I've got laser tag too. I'm pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I'M NOT GAY.

P.S. - And I've gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now.

"They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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