Richard Hammond AKA the hamster was arrested yesterday by French police after he stole a pair of the French Presidents platform shoes while attending a party at the Presidents residence.
Apparently he was intimidated by Carla's height and couldn't manage to peer down her dress to see her tits while wearing his normal shoes. He said that he only borrowed them with the intent to return them after the party. Unfortunately he got well pissed on the free booze and forgot. The shoes were recovered from his hotel room by police, hidden in the back of the wardrobe covered in stale piss and solidified vomit.
We hear that the President intends to use the full weight of the law to teach Hammond a lesson he will not forget. When in reality he's rather pissed off with the bad press that French cars constantly receive from the Top Gear team. So this is his way of giving them the finger, so to speak.
Clarkson retorted with his usual panache. "Crap is crap however you dress it up,shortarse. If you want decent reviews start building decent cars that the British public can afford without having to take out a bloody mortgage. Even the bloody Krauts can manage to do a better job than the frogs. Maybe it would be a good idea if they invaded again.
The other hairy arsed member of the team was highly delighted with Hammond's demise, saying the little fool should have had more sense than to stray across the channel on his own.