Written by j.w.
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Sunday, 22 August 2010

'Do you have a morning after pill, Mum?'

'Penny, you didn't screw with Terry did you?'

'No it was West ham who were screwed. I just need help getting over it.'

'I can tell you one thing. West Ham are not bottom of the League. Wigan are. They are also on zero points but their goal difference is far worse.'

'Yes, it depends on others being even worse.'

'Then, you said the game after Manchester United was Chelsea away. But West Ham will be home to Chelsea.'

'Big deal.'

'And your father told me there is a chance for West Ham in the transfer window which is still open.'

'We can't afford eleven players.'

'Come on. Dad said some of the West Ham players are quite good.'

'Not good enough.'

'It is too early in the season, Penny. You have to keep fighting.'

'Millwall did well.'

'Terry will be pleased.'

'In a way. But his heart is set on playing for West Ham one day.'

'You'll see. He will be playing at the Olympic Stadium whilst you are nearby exhibiting your paintings at the 02.'

'The future could improve I suppose.'

'Of course it will. It may not be as hopeless as you think it is.'

'No. But it could be even worse.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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