Written by walter
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Monday, 16 August 2010

Titles are added to someone's name to reveal certain qualifications for performance. In ‎other words, we use them to impress other people. Anyway, it is acceptable provided the ‎advertised achievements are properly sanctioned.‎

A hen, with newly hatched chicks, ruffles her feathers so that she is not taken as a ‎birdie; she's larger than life. No one objects to this custodianship. ‎

We can somehow trace the origin of titles. It dates back to 3000-4000 year ago when ‎various people, on behalf of Jehovah, God or Allah, told us that God demands our ‎humble respect. Additionally, we were taught not to share this reverence with anyone ‎else which wrathfully turns God against us; and we're admonished to fully watch our ‎language when we use his name. At the same time, we are told that God created us in ‎his own image. ‎

In Greek mythology, we learn that the Titans, also known as the elder gods, ruled the ‎earth before the Olympians. Based on available vas paintings, these gods more or less ‎looked like us, or rather, they were created in our image. ‎

As to contemporary titles, to certain extent, we need to have some information about a ‎physician's qualifications: MD, DC, D.O., DDS, DMD, O.D., DPM, DVM. Since a degree ‎from a prestigious school was once a real achievement, we still put high values on ‎doctoral degrees. ‎

In certain cultures, people are so obsessed with the title that the lack of which can cause ‎a terrible feeling. A person without a title is like a fish out of water-a nostalgia that takes ‎him back to the good old days when monarchs sold titles. Fortunately, not all doors are ‎closed yet. A middle-aged jerry-builder who uses an 'X' on his checks, can go visit ‎Mecca to earn a much sought after title 'Haji', meaning a pilgrim to Mecca. Thereafter, ‎yesterday's Hassan becomes today's 'Haj Hassan' which gives great comfort to the ‎illiterate Hassan, the Jerry Builder. Another alternative, for Hassan was to accept a ‎ministerial job and thus automatically receive the doctoral title according to the existing ‎laws.‎

Obtaining empty certificates can truly serve such a nation, not in terms of employment ‎but in terms of matrimony. For instance, Fatima goes to an institute for higher education ‎to earn an empty degree to top her dowry with it, and Hussein, the male, goes to college ‎to earn a so-called bachelor's degree, after 16 terms, to assist his parents to win the ‎bargaining battle at the proposal time. Of course, Hussein, due to full unemployed, gets ‎his pocket money from his daddy. ‎

The aftermath: In the legendary morning, after the wedding, both sides feel betrayed. ‎Fatima, the bride, who firmly safeguarded her virtue up to the night before feels badly ‎messy and thus angrily protests: ‎

Wish you could've spent a few 'unit hours', in addition to your scholarly school ‎record, with me before the wedding so that I could appraise the tolerable ‎threshold of halitosis, body odor, civility, snoring, farting and above all your ‎natural tendencies for conjugational positions.‎

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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