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Friday, 13 August 2010

image for Excerpt of Interview with Cover Girl Halle Berry, Part Two

In-vogue magazine, long a racist bastion of whites-are-superior sensibilities has only had two black women on their cover, since their inception in 1892. The first was Naomi Campbell in 1989, the second is Halle Berry, who will be on the September cover.

The blog on Mulatto.web, which calls itself a "Positive Resource Board for Biracials", contains a thread that holds over 250 posts, under the title "How to get a Mullato Chick." Advice includes "Do not, I repeat, do NOT talk about being her mulatto on the initial phone call, or your first date."

Below is an excerpt of In-vogue's interview with Halle Berry.

Nhoe Blacques, In-vogue Magazine: Do you have children?

Halle Berry: I do. I have a daughter named Nahla Ariela.


Blacques: Wow, you're not going to find that name on a personalized pencil in Spencer's, huh?

Berry: I think it's a beautiful name.


Blacques: I guess, if you have a bone through your nose and ride a zebra.

Berry: That is offensive.


Blacques: How old is she?

Berry: She's 2.


Blacques: So you were in your forties when you had her, right?

Berry: I was 41.


Blacques: Poor thing. Is she a mongoloid?

Berry: No, of course not.


Blacques: OK, sorry. So how did her birth affect the amount of food stamps you receive?

Berry: How dare you?


Blacques: Is Mahalia in preschool yet?

Berry: Her name is Nahla. And, yes, she is in pre-school.

Blacques: What's her favorite part: Naptime? Having Grape soda and apple Jolly Ranchers at snacktime? Playing "Duck, Duck, Spook"?

Berry: You are sick.


Blacques: Bet she's great at the monkey bars, right?

Berry: I am leaving!


Blacques: Can she peel a banana with her feet?

Berry: You're sick?


Blacques: Does she have a parole officer on site?

Berry: F--k you!!

...


Blacques: You wrote on your website that you wish to be a positive role model for young blacks growing up.

Berry: That is true. I feel that any African-American in the public eye has a responsibility to set an example for today's youth.


Blacques: That's great. Why don't you follow that same advice.

Berry: What are you talking about? I do.


Blacques: I'm sorry. You're right. So, you've never divorced, right?

Berry: Well, no. I've been divorced twice.


Blacques: But you're married to Mahatma's father, right?

Berry: Her name is Nahla. And, no I'm not.


Blacques: So, you just live together.

Berry: No, we've broken up.


Blacques: Are the daughters of unwed mothers bastards, or just sons?

Berry: You're out of line.


Blacques: My fault. So, how does being arrested for Hit and Run make you a positive role model,exactly?

Berry: I am not proud of that, but it doesn't mean...


Blacques: ... What, that you're a criminal? Yes, it does, actually.

Berry: I...


Blacques: Well, I guess it's OK, at least you don't do drugs, right?

Berry: Exactly. There are too many people who...


Blacques: ... Hold on, Whoopi. Didn't you tell People Magazine 'I tried pot when I was 18 or 19."

Berry: I said I tried it. I...

Blacques: So trying it is different from actually doing it?

Berry: Well, yeah. I mean...


Blacques: "Sorry, Judge. I was just trying homicide. It's not the same...

Berry: You are comparing apples to...


Blacques: ... Watermelons, Ms. Berry? How about this: "I was just trying bank robbery, That's not the same as actual bank robbery.

Berry: That's so unfair.

Blacques: "I don't do cocaine, I just tried it. I like the smell."

Berry: That's not even... What does that mean.


Blacques: So you're a twice-divorced drug using unwed mother.

Berry: Well, I...


Blacques: It looks like black America IS following your lead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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