Written by rfreed
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Thursday, 29 July 2010

image for You Shall Read This And Obey The predators came while we weren't watching...

Official notification is hereby given to all citizens of the United States that the government of said land is dissolved and that the entity formerly known as the United States Of America has been acquired in a hostile takeover by the newly formed Corporation of North America.

All questions of national allegiance and international relations will now be addressed to the Halliburton America section of of the new entity.

For the time being the red, white and blue flag of the former American republic will continue to serve as the standard of the new Corporate entity until such time as a new flag more representative of the entrepreneurial nature of the entity can be found, possibly a flag with a dollar sign and an iron glove clenching it.

National and State borders will remain the same until extensive surveying can be completed to distinguish which properties have the most capital worth and which are to be disposed of. The former concept of so-called "private properties" is hereby abolished. Those challenging the taking of these lands will be subject to immediate extermination or incarceration in the non-usable, worthless lands in the Nevada desert.

All financial matters including that of tax collection will be handled by the Goldman Sachs America- Collection Agency Division. ALL TAXES WILL CONTINUE TO BE COLLECTED AS THEY WERE UNDER STATE AND FEDERAL REGULATIONS!!! The income tax refund division of the IRS has been eliminated to save on expenditures. Tax refunds owed to individuals will now be considered donations to the formation expenses of the new Corporate nation.

Further notice is hereby given that all loans and subsidies given out to the amalgamated corporations during the financial crisis from 2008 to present will be forgiven and need not be repaid as we would simply be paying ourselves back. Also, all debts to other, non-corporate nations will be considered null and void and all aid programs to such nations will also be discontinued as they are anti-profitmaking and thereby alien to all principles of the capitalistic nature of our new government.

The military, now under the blanket of the Xe (formerly Blackwater) Corporation of North America, will be maintaining order in all cities with a population over 10,000 people. All police units in these areas are now dissolved and must surrender their weaponry. Those refusing to do so will be considered enemies of the New State and hunted down like wild cur.

For the future, the citizens of this new land will be allowed to consume only corporate created foodstuffs. Only McDonalds and Dennys will be recognized as official food distribution outlets. ALL SELF CREATION OF FOOD WHETHER IN THE GROWING OR PREPARATION THEREOF IS FORBIDDEN!!! Anyone found cooking or growing their own food will be banished to the non-utilitarian arid lands of Nevada where they can starve to death while trying to forage for themselves.

The oil well areas of Iraq will form the 51st state of the new corporate nation. They have been consolidated into a new entity christened 'Revenueland' by our new corporate leaders. The rest of Iraq will be fenced off and the citizens therein left to kill each other off until the land is empty and can be used for more profitable activities.

Citizens of the U.S. should not be alarmed by the changes in the groundwork of our society. One is expected to show the same patriotic fervor as previously whether on the workroom floor, the office or on the battlefield both present and the future. Of greatest importance is that citizens of the New Corporation of North America should show the same allegiance as before and above all follow all orders and directives of the new government. One of those new orders will be to turn all your daughters of age 18 and above to the use of corporate officials as "stress relievers'.

The first order of business will be the invasion and subjugation of Canada as the new regime will be in great need of highly skilled and educated slaves to help with the taking over of the rest of the world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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