Written by j.w.
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Tags: apology

Thursday, 22 July 2010

image for Sensational apologies Listening for your complaints

In line with the best journalism I shall, from time to time, be issuing apologies and corrections for things I have written for The Spoof that have been found to be mistaken.

In that way the pedantic geeks, who have nothing better to do but poke holes in my errorts, might be satisfied.

1. My description of the musical compositions written by composers for the vuvuzela as being easily mistaken for a concerto for Angry Bees was mistaken. Sorry, it was my hearing that was at fault.

2. Wayne Rooney is not Mickey Rooney as I suggested. They just look alike.

3. I was wrong to suggest that Robert Green's famous 'own goal' was due to him being stung by a Bee. It was just a fuck up.

4. I breached a confidence by revealing Nick Clegg was called Nicola by his partner David. The Liberals have kept Nick's tendencies a secret for many years and I have revealed all. I am full of remorse and awaiting my seat in the House of Lords before I erroneously reveal more secrets.

5. Tony Blair is not the Tony Blare I referred to in my column. We can all make typots!

6. Mandy, the Third Man, does not really live in a sewer. He just fills it up.

7. Bankers are not really responsible for all the economic troubles we face. Just 99%.

8. Troop withdrawls from Afghanistatan are not, in fact, about a sexual practice aiming to stem the increase in population. These young people will be following the American example and will abstain from all sex, becoming armies of monks and nuns.

If anyone should find other errors in my contributions please send a message to me c/o the Moon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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