Written by Arthur Brownwindsor

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Saturday, 12 November 2005

Dear Sir
This reason I have signed up to your site is not to add to the mass of trivia I have found there but because I have a complaint.( I went to a rhinologist about it and he said I have a polyp up my nose .I looked it up in my Collins dictionary and it says "sea anemone".
I cannot remember sticking one up my nose but must have. )But life is a serious business Mr Spoof
I am the founder of the Society for Old Organic Foods. We ,my lady wife Lucinda and I ,try to encourage the eating of good nourishing foods instead of the mass factory produced meals so popular today.
We see the internet as being crucial to this crusade and are very cross. Our contribution is a web site giving the recipe for a soup after which the town of Windsor was named. If you go to Google and type "Windsor Soup" you get our recipe. You can also find us via Google by typing in
Society for the Preservation of Organic Old Foods.

I was therefore shocked to type SPOOF into Goggle and get your rather trivial site. I take this very seriously. Last year Google dropped Windsor Soup as its main link and I complained to them as I am complaining to YOU.

Subject: Windsor Soup
Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 13:04:59 -0000
Dear Mr Google
I am the founder of the Society for the Preservation of Organic Old Foods.SPOOF. We try to encourage the eating of good nourishing foods rather than the factory produced mass meals of today.The internet is ideal for spreading our message and the garnering of good via search engines including you own is invaluable.
One of the recipes SPOOF encourages is a soup after which the Royal town of Windsor was named. Indeed the soup was served to the guests of Queen Victoria. It isn't widely known however because it is untrue that a diplomatic incident occurred at the Castle when Brown Windsor Soup was actually served to the French ambassador without horseradish dumplings!
Now our society is not best pleased by Google.
For several months typing " Windsor Soup" into Google and hitting " I feel lucky" took the searcher to www.windsorsoup.co.uk where the recipe was with a recipe for the dumplings. Now the poor public is taken to a commercial called foodnetwork.com where celebrity chef no-one has heard of gives the recipe.
Three points.
1 Emril Largasse is obviously French and therefore cannot be trusted to cook Brown Windsor Soup.
2.He suggests the use of sirloin steak. This is grossly extravagant. Diced stewing steak is quite adequate.
3. Nowhere does he give the recipe for the dumplings despite the diplomatic incident.
I therefore suggest that you revert to your former position and put www.windsorsoup.co.uk back to number one so that when people hit " I feellucky" they can be again
Arthur Brownwindsor
Society for the Preservation of Old Organic Foods

This got a serious reply as I hope will my letter to you

Hi Arthur,

Thank you for taking the time to write. We are sorry that you have been
unhappy with your search results. As you may know, results in our index change regularly based on ongoing,
automated processes aimed at improving the quality and content of oursearch results. It is certainly our intent to represent the content of theInternet fairly and accurately. The ongoing changes you have observed arepart of this effort.

Inclusion and ranking in Google's search results is free. A site's rankingin Google's search results is determined by computer algorithms that use anumber of factors to calculate the relevance of that page. Google does notmanipulate search results by hand or accept payment to change resultsordering. We do not manually assign keywords to any site. We believestrongly in allowing the "democracy of the web" to determine the positionof sites in our search results. For more information on how Google ranks
pages, please see our "Why Use Google" page at http://www.google.com/technology/index.html.

The Google Team

So I want an apology for your misuse of the serious word Spoof


Arthur Brownwindsor BA (University of Life) Failed
Society for the Preservation of Organic Old Foods (SPOOF)
The Terraced House With Slates on Top
Near Windsor Castle

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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