Written by armfeetandtoe
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Friday, 16 July 2010

image for New Metropolitan Police Chief Arrives At Scotland Yard Chief Unwin out on patrol

Chief Constable Stanley Unwin arrived at the Yard this morning eager to get into his new office and start policing London "His way".

This reporter, armfeetandtoe, was granted an exclusive interview with Unwin.

armfeetandtoe: What do you think you will bring to the job?

Unwin: Excitmo, the thrum of policibol politicli never interweedlo with the fabricol of plodmost independ.

armfeetandtoe: Do you intend to go out on the beat?

Unwin: Absafrol, deep joy walkileg footnmoth cuffy much the crimgang thrim the street all livi housy.

armfeetandtoe: Will you change modern day policing?

Unwin: Notlo immidileave plodwalk continfrol day by day chasenmost thugthrum all ginger up a ritelode angerfuss much waggy waggy, fingerthumb.

armfeetandtoe: Will you arm every officer on the beat?

Unwin: Oh! gunfrompus bang all nasty scarfor yoldeldy drop much an fallydown splat all gathery gathery plodwalk lookin fright never endlo pave mentalthrump gone all deadlo.

armfeetandtoe: Do you feel you are the right man for the job?

Unwin: No.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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