What if God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
What if God used the familiar excuse...
"I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received. Please stay on the line."
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in prayer? If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other Angels, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a psalm while you hold, please Press 4
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven
Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, and where Noah's Ark is:
Please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today:
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend please call during normal business hours,
We are closed to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again tomorrow after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, please contact your local vicar.