Written by NickFun
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Sunday, 16 October 2005

As the Christmas season draws near in this time of "political correctness" I suggest we drop the sappy Christmas story of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Though most childrens stories are politically incorrect, few stories in history have been as politically incorrect as this one.

We will note that Rudolph was born with a disability and the other reindeer children constantly taunted him, called him names and probably beat the hell out of him. His red nose was most likely either a genetic mutation or the result of alcoholic parents. This teaches children that "it's not ok to be different". Where was Santa while Rudolph was being so mercilessly harrassed by these youthful miscreants? Why were no measures taken to control the schoolyard bullying? Where were Rudolph's parents?

Later in the story Santa asks Rudolph to guide his sleigh because his nose was a fricking beacon. Rudolph could have taken offense at this point and told Santa to go screw himself. Instead he plays the hero and accepts Santa's offer to guide the sleigh. THEN all the reindeer loved him! They couldn't just accept him as he was but he had to prove that his mutation had some sort of merit before he would be accepted among his peers.

In todays society such abuse would not be tolerated. Rudolph could have grown into a serial-killing reindeer or engaged in a Colombine-style mass murder. Do we really want our children to be exposed to such things?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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