Written by Leddy
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Sunday, 11 July 2010

Profound Answers To Today's Current Events

I've spent the past two weeks listening extensively to the most popular radio talk show hosts in America, and I've heard them stutter, repeat themselves and even talk over their callers and co-hosts in a futile attempt to make us the general public believe that they alone, are the "wise old owls" of our specie.

They go to great lengths to bait us into participating in their call in ramblings by ending their segments with a question, for example: " I can't for the likes of me understand why Massachusetts, would make gay and lesbian marriages legal, can anyone please give me a clue as to why this would happen, for the likes of me, I just can't figure it out?"

This baits us in because while they go on their break (5 minutes of commercials) we have the time to get our facts straight, so that when they return, we can make ourselves appear smarter then they are by enlightening the talk show host (and the listening audience) by answering the question that we perceive that they can't answer.

When the talk show host returns, they take our calls, already having an arsenal of facts and research at their disposal to counter act any response that we could possible make that maybe (and it usually is) contrary to their own philosophies and or beliefs. If this verbal assault on their part doesn't suffice, they again talk over us, turn us down or cut us off altogether.

It is not good economic sense to make others appear smarter then you are, especially, if you're a radio talk show host, and this applies to anyone who holds a position of authority with any degree of expertise.



The Formula For Answering Profound Questions


I have developed a formula that can be used as an aid in answering any question in regards to someone's actions, and I believe it should be implemented by everyone in the course of one's search for an answer. It is nothing close to what Einstein would have come up with nor does it have anything to do with any type of higher intelligence, but just the same, it does have merit.


The G.A.C. Formula


The G.A.C. formula can be applied to any question that will ever arise in our life time and beyond over the actions of an individual or a group of individuals, especially, in this capitalist system that we find ourselves in. So, to all of you rambling talk show hosts, who pretend to be dumb founded and baffled by what's happening in our world today, you can simply apply my formula to your questions and arrive at intelligent answers without wasting energy or tying up the air waves with callers who really don't have a clue but who are instead instinctively responding on an emotional level.


What G.A.C. Symbolizes

"G" - is the out come of the action done for personal gain?

"A" - is it motivated or manipulated by public acceptance? Public Condemnation could be the desired outcome also.

"C" - is it politically (or publicly) correct? This entails a wide array of variables as to the final outcome desired by the individual or group of individuals in question.
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Applying The G.A.C. Formula


Now that I have presented my formula, let's apply it to a question relating to today's current events. We will re-examine the question presented above and answer it with the G.A.C. formula.

" I can't for the likes of me understand why Massachusetts, would make gay and lesbian marriages legal, can anyone please give me a clue as to why this would happen, for the likes of me, I just can't figure it our?"

Devoted religious people will have a very difficult time answering the question above. That's because the lifestyle of the gays and lesbians is contrary to the biblical word of God, and so therefore, religious people have a bias theological perspective of the hold affair. Many radio talk show hosts that I have listened to lately have thrown in their religious 2 cents worth on the matter too, and it appears to me that they strongly disagree with same sex marriages. However, please keep in mind that as gay and lesbian life styles become more and more popular, public opinion will be swayed and these same radio talk show hosts who now condemn it, will jump on the gay and lesbian band wagon and defend it in order to keep their rating up and please the public, media history has proven this.


The question of why gays and lesbians were allowed to marry in Massachusetts , is a prime example of how the G.A.C. formula can be applied to an equation relating to someone's actions, the answer to this question is so blatantly clear that it speaks for itself.

"G" - is the out come of the action done for personal gain?

I will not explain the reasons why a gay is gay, or, why a lesbian is a lesbian, they are just pawns in this political arcade and so therefore, I will dwell on the political motive behind the court's ruling.


There is so much personal gain to be achieved by those in the political arena whose ruling shocked America, on May 16, 2004, that it would be impossible to list them all here but I will at least present you with enough information, so that you will have a clear perception of what is to come in the not too distant future.

(1) Government servants, no matter what their level of service is have a compulsive obsessive desire to be written about in the history books of the future. Those judges who just passed the recent ruling on gay and lesbian marriages, secured their place in those history books. The first legal gay and lesbian marriage was and is such a shock to most religious Americans, that it was a media frenzy with interviews, guest appearances on TV talk shows and radio talk shows, not to mention the books that will be written, and the movies that will spawn from this high impact news story. It also made the front page of every news paper in the world!

This goes for everyone involved, from the court clerk who filed the marriage licenses, all the way down to the ministers who married them.

Massachusetts , could very well become a Mecca for gay and lesbian couples who want to exchange their wedding vows, this will bring in millions of dollars in revenue for the city alone. The hotels will be swamped with newlywed couples who'll want to rent a honeymoon suite. The flower shops will have to work around the clock to keep the wedding chapels supplied with poesies! This influx of business will filter down to every single business in Massachusetts , and especially, the tourism business. So my friend the factor of personal gain is certainly a factor in the court's ruling.

When this happens other cities across America , will move to capitalize on gay and lesbian marriages too, don't think that they won't. Even if the ruling is struck down by congress later, the money will have already been made and spent!

"A" - is it motivated or manipulated by public acceptance? Public Condemnation could be the desired outcome also.

(2) In the case of the gay and lesbian marriages, public condemnation was expected and used to sensationalize and exploit the situation in order to draw the media's attention.

"C" - is it politically (or publicly) correct? This entails a wide array of variables as to the final outcome desired by the individual or group of individuals in question.

(3) The ruling to allow gays and lesbians to get married was decided on by the court, it was never voted on by the citizens of Massachusetts . In the eyes of the court it was just another matter of civil rights like that of the blacks and their civil rights. Segregation was never voted on either, it was imposed on the citizens of the United States by the courts.

In due time, the gays and lesbians will be accepted into the main stream of society just like the blacks were, the government will see to that. And this is only because the gays and lesbians have enough money and clout to pressure the judiciary system in to seeing things their way, just like the blacks did in the 1960's. This is a prime example of the fact that, "money talks and bullshit walks."


As time goes on we will use the G.A.C. formula to answer other profound questions. If you wish, you may use it to answer the questions you face in your daily life and please tell your favorite radio talk show host about it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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