Written by Lady Godiva
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Thursday, 8 July 2010

Newby - Isle of Wight - Residents of Newby were today told that the Isle of Wight is soon to get a new ferry to take Newby residents to the Mainland.

Town councillor Bob Syor Unkl (an immigrant for Sweden)
told residents that they must keep up with the times and get a ferry with an engine, like everyone else on the Isle.

Ferryman, Will Ge Tyoothar (Korean/Canadian immigrant) is said to be complaining lately about his arms. He said that since cars have been allowed on the ferry, he's having a really difficult time pulling on the rope to get the ferry across to the mainland.

Residents agreed that they SHOULD have a ferry with an engine.

Mrs. Millicent Molly Mayhew (65) said,

"Tha knows I've noticed Will's arms getting longer. 'E's bin draggin' 'is knuckles on the floor lately and it's just not righ' is it?

Something needs to change and I am righ' pleased to hear of the ferry with an engine.

I must admit, sounds a bit wierd to me does a ferry with an engine. I'm just used to the rope, but we must move wi' the times for Will's sake."

A Council meeting - outlining details re: the new ferry with the engine - is to take place on Monday 9th at 8.00pm in the Community Centre - if the White Witches have finished their meeting. (Members of the covern said their meeting might go on an extra 15 minutes because they've added a game of bingo to their weekly get-togethers and the caller is a little slow at the moment).

Details of the agenda for the Council meeting will be posted on the notice board outside the Community Centre as soon as someone can find a pen and a bit of paper.

Refreshments will be served courtesy of the Women's Institute. Menu is, fish paste sandwiches, pork and beef fairy-cakes and iced dandelion and lilac tea.

Dontations for refreshments will go to pay for Sidney Farquaharson's colostomy bags for the month.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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