Written by Trollbuster General
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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

According to the Justice Secretary Ken Clarke, it costs £38,000 a year to keep someone in jail. And this is more than the fees charged at Eton. Justice Secretary? Where's the justice in that? He's having a laugh, right?

On the other hand, this gives the lags two advantages over those public school toffs. Not only are the fees higher, they don't have to wear those stupid top hats and stiff collars.

Maybe they should. That would be a great deterrent. Or would it? Would criminals be even more desperate not to go back to prison? Just picture this scene: an armed robber is cornered by the police.

COPPER: Armed police! Drop that weapon!

ROBBER: Bollocks! I'm not going back inside. Those collars were giving me boils on the neck!

Then I read that the Home Secretary has ordered the police to cut crime. Come on, Theresa. Get fucking real. Have a word with Ken Clarke. Don't you people communicate with each other? How do you cut crime?

It's not rocket-fucking-science. You cut crime by arresting more criminals. At £38,000 a year? And this government is trying to reduce the deficit? My advice to the police is just turn a blind eye and save us a bit of money. Okay, some people will suffer, but as the government keeps telling us times are tough and we're all in this together.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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