Written by walter

Print this

Sunday, 4 July 2010

In early 1992, Kabul was captured, and the guerrilla alliance set up a new ‎government consisting of a 50-member ruling council. Rabbani became interim ‎president and Hekmatyar prime minister. Later, Hekmatyar and Dostum laid ‎siege to Kabul, fighting Rabbani, the president and his Defense Minister Ahmed ‎Shah Massoud, later killed. ‎

From 1992 to 1996, Hekmatyar and Dostum destroyed 70% of Kabul and killed ‎‎50,000 people, most of them civilians. Human rights groups allege that ‎Hekmatyar is responsible for murdering more Afghans than the Soviet Union ‎killed. Hekmatyar fled to Iran where he continued to lead the Hezbi Islami party. ‎He is also accused of offering rewards for those who kill U.S. troops.‎

In 1994, another militia group, Islamic student Mullahs or clerics, Taliban, ‎emerged as an increasingly powerful force. ‎

In September 1994, Taliban captured Kabul and declared themselves as the ‎legitimate government of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan; they imposed ‎Islamic laws. They chopped hands, stoned to death women and beheaded men ‎in the main squares. ‎

In early 2001, the Taliban, Islamic clerics, destroyed all statues, reasoning that ‎only God can make man in his own image, including two ancient giant Buddhas ‎in Bamian, situated in the rock formation outside Kabul in the middle of the ‎desert. This achievement was filmed and successfully broadcast worldwide by ‎BBC and CNN. ‎

USA demanded the delivery of Ben Laden. Mullahs, Taliban, stubbornly refused ‎to hand him over. ‎

October 2001, USA launched attacks against Taliban and Al Qaeda (bin Laden's ‎organization) positions and forces. All the lizards and snakes harboring in deep ‎caves were turned to ashes by Bunker Buster bombs.‎

Karzai was elected president (for a two-year term), and King Zaher Shah was ‎declared the "father".‎

Now, the 55-year-old general, Stan McChristal, has apologized. "It was a mistake ‎reflecting poor judgment and should never have happened," McChrystal said in a ‎statement. "His wife, Annie, has joined him for a rare visit, in Paris: Since the Iraq ‎War began in 2003, she has seen her husband less than 30 days a year." Stan ‎sleeps "…four hours a night, running seven miles each morning, and eating one ‎meal a day". 3rd teardrop!‎

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this


Go to top