Written by Inchcock
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Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Election Candidates Appraised Upper Crustville Candidates Evaluated

The political parties standing in Upper Crustville has finished evaluating their prospective candidates to represent them at the next elections. Each candidate being asked the same question: "Why do you want to become MP for Upper Crustville?"

Here are the results.

Prospective Conservative Candidate:

D'Artagnan Quillon Griffon Rothchild.

"Mummy and Dadders said it would be something for me to do to keep from being bored..."

Prospective New Labour Candidate:

John Jones.

I wish to find out more about the expenses fiddles, and help in the elimination of this farcical series of accusations being bandied about. And to help bring investment to the town, I've already spoken with company representatives about their establishing outlets and businesses here - Swiss banks, stock Brokers, etc.

Prospective Lib Dem Candidate:

Elvis Sweetflower.

We need multi-culturism, freedom from bigotry, gay rights, expense fiddles... I mean to stop expense fiddles, and a future for our adopted children.

Prospective BNP Candidate:

Albert Spite.

Yea, OK, well, it got to change annit?

Prospective Greens Candidate:

Wilhelmina Bumfluff.

We need more bicycle lanes and to ban vehicles, and use wind power more.

Prospective Real Ale Appreciation Society Candidate:

Richard Downafew.

"Hic"

There will be further assessments at a later date to be announced.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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