Penelope never watched football but she could hear it. 'What's that terrible noise?' she asked her mother 'why on earth are people putting up with that?'
'People are blowing into horns known as Vuvuzela's to make a sound of celebration.'
'Those Vuvu's are like long pricks' said Penelope.
'Yes, that's why men like them darling.'
'Boys at school are very proud of theirs, but they don't blow into them. They get other boys to do that!'
'Well don't you start doing that Penelope, you would get bad breath.'
'That's not all you'd get' chimed in Penelope's elder brother Sebastien.
'Sebastien, darling, that's quite enough of that' scolded his mother.
'I know what they are, Mummy' Penelope interrupted 'they are fellow symbols. We learnt about them in Art.'
'It's phallic symbols, darling. Things that are supposed to look like men's penises when they are erect.'
'Yuck. What a ghastly sight. And they're really smelly too.'
'Penelope, I think your sex education has gone too far.'
'Mummy, who is Greenie?'
'That's Robert Green, the England goalkeeper.'
'He's done something very wrong hasn't he?'
'Yes he fumbled a weak shot and let in a goal'
'Is that all? Poor man. I feel really sorry for him. He only made a small mistake.'
'SMALL!' shouted Sebastien 'Daddy says he's a traitor.'
'Good for him. We need a few traitors.'