Written by Nae mair crap
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Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for Letters to the Editor Scottish "I cannot believe it" Victor Meldew style just after I was released from Warrington Hospital

Sir

Times are hard, you're afraid to pay the fee

I would like to ask someone in the damned ConDemned coalition why am I paying to fly the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Business Class to the Far East?

Did he not say, only days ago that it would be Economy or Second Class only?

What are we supposed to believe from these gangsters? Perhaps the demise of Mr Laws frees Mr Osborne from their agreement.

Victor Meldrew
(happy as a pig in shit)
Auchenshoogle Tattiebogle
The Highlands, Scotland


**********************************************************

Sir,

I foresee terrible trouble but I stay here just the same

I can sometimes be obsessed. It's a fact.

But, I'll tell you what real, bloody obsession looks like. It's every pub in Runcorn, plastered from window to ceiling in those flags.

I counted 14 of the red and white things on the ceiling of a pub in Weston Village, Runcorn. One flag looks so nice and gives the place an added sparkle surrounded by 31 other flags of the participating countries in World Cup 2010. But 16, yes 16, 4 feet by 2 feet, St Georges thingies and some with 1966 splashed all over them! On the ceiling, mind you all the pissheads will be on their backs after another penalty shoot out catastrophe.

Is there not a law against racial torture in the UK? There should be!

Victor Meldrew
(pissed off and in hiding)
address supplied.

***********************************************************

Sir,

World Cup South Africa 2010

I have never seen a Dutch writer on thespoof. Why is that, I wonder? I cannot believe it!

Anyway, I'm supporting the Netherlands. Come on Holland!

Victor van den Meldrew
Exiled on Main Street
Den Haag
The Netherlands

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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