Written by rvler9201
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Sunday, 6 June 2010

ST. LOUIS, MO-Informing you that you are "way off base" with your political views and that you haven't "seen all the evidence", your left-wing associate would like you to know that he is in possession of some books you really need to check out.

"You really don't know what you're talking about, man," your friend has notified you. "I have some stuff you should take a look at."

Your childish and ill-formed political stances, you are told, are the result of a serious lack of unbiased information, as well as a natural consequence of being a peon in the crypto-fascist corporate state. Your friend further warns you that while he feels your heart is in the right place, if you're not careful you could become irreversibly ignorant and end up like those Tea Party people.

"You're a really smart guy, so I'm gonna help you out here," asserted your liberal friend, though you weren't aware that any assistance was needed or requested. "I have a stack of really good backs back in my apartment that I was thinking about giving away. They're pretty elementary, very survey course, but I think you could really benefit from them."

In addition to the aforementioned materials which will be dropped off "Tuesday sometime", your colleague recommends, for starters, A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn and Manufacturing Consent by Noam Chomsky, which you are advised are "pretty much essential" in having any coherent thoughts on any issue.

Furthermore, Ward Churchill's From a Native Son, though not compulsory reading, is very illuminating.

"It's difficult attempting to gather an accurate picture of the events in our little Operation Mockingbird bubble," claimed your leftist counterpart, who at press was wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt and camouflage cargo shorts. "I know I was way off track when I was younger; luckily, I had some really good professors in college who really opened my eyes."

"The facts are all there, bro," your friend added. "But the corporate-run news outlets and their Zionist cronies don't want the truth to get out. You need to stop paying attention to the 'mainstream' media and get some honest perspective on the issues."

Your friend continued: "For example, did you know that the Bush Administration was simulating an invasion of Afghanistan with India and Pakistan in July of 2001?" citing one of the hundreds of contingency plans in service by the United States military at any given time. "Not trying to push you or anything, but really, you draw your own conclusions about that."

Despite your attempts to assure your leftist companion that you were fairly confident in your education and understand of geopolitical events, you were shut down and told that until you had read The New American Empire by Rodrigue Tremblay or Mark Danner's Torture and Truth you had "no business" claiming even superficial understanding of the world you live in.

"Did you know that Blackwater has made over $1 trillion since 2004?" your friend has demanded. "Or that they're involved in the CIA's dirty little assassination programs?" While you admit that you were not aware of either of these facts, you would like to point out that mercenaries, however amoral and reprehensible, have been used in virtually every armed conflict in the last 2,000 years.

At press, your friend continues to relate to you the truth about the world and how it works.

"Progressive taxes, alternative energy, government benefits-these are all being stymied by the shadowy groups that really run this country. Did you know that George Bush and John Kerry were both in the Skull and Bones society at Yale?" making a largely unremarkable observation that men who were in a highly-selective society at an extremely-competitive university ended up successful and famous. "Do you know how many presidents have been in the Freemasons? Fourteen, man," neglecting to mention that most lived during the 19th century, and no president has been a Freemason since Gerald Ford. "The Illuminati, the Bohemian Grove, the 'Power elite' if you will-I know a lot of really good websites you need to check out; the print media is too afraid to go after their overlords, but I definitely recommend you check out Founding Fathers, Secret Societies by Robert Hieronimus "

Concluded your friend, "Knowledge is power."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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