Written by UNEMPLOYED
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Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for Unemployment: To wear pants or not to wear pants? The BIG question.

This is a quandary that the Unemployed struggle with almost on a daily basis. The truth is if you have nowhere to go and no one expects anything of you, why put on pants? Why not lounge around in your underwear/pajamas all day since let's face it: no one is going to see you to judge your most deplorable state of undress.

Now, there are some people who will tell you, "You should put on some pants! It'll keep your spirits up if you at least look like a human being!"

These people have jobs and should therefore be ignored. A state of Unemployment and, by proxy, of pantslessness, can only be appreciated by someone who is in a similar circumstance. The Employed (hereby known as Others, Peoples with "Purpose", and Whiners For Which We Hold No Sympathy) cannot fathom the state of depression and restlessness we find ourselves dwelling in everyday.

Perhaps there is some merit to what such soothsayers preach. Perhaps we should don our britches and pretend we have somewhere to go any mintue now. Of course the downside to this is you have absolutely nowhere to go and are, in a way, deluding yourself and therefore putting your mental state closer to that of hopeless insanity.

The Unemployed desire a time when pants will be necessary because it means they will have a job at long last. Such times are to be treasured and appreciated, which they certainly cannot be if one were to wear pants for all occasions. Wearing pants when you're Unemployed is like wearing a Hawaiian shirt when you're not on vacation: it detracts from the base enjoyment of such an activity if it is done constantly. Also, it looks tacky.

For one final note, it's hot outside and not all of the Unemployed are able to afford air conditioning at this time or any time so for the forseeable future, it's pants off.

Unemployment tip of the day: Pants On the Job, Not in the Home.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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