Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Dear Editor: My unmarried auntie Ida Ravenscroft, 67, and I were wondering if they ever found out "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

Byron Basil Ravenscroft
Tooting, England

Dear Byron: Yes they did. It was a 33-year-old unemployed crumpet maker from Coventry by the name of Lysander Walpole. He was arrested and is currently serving 2 years (that's 14 in dog years) in London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes.

Dear Editor: My wife and I just saw the movie Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe. There was certainly a whole lot of fighting going on between the English and the French. Tipsy (the wife's name) and I were both under the impression that the French don't like to fight. But they were sure doing a whole lot of it. What gives?

Mr. and Mrs. Neville Cavendish
Fargo, North Dakota

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cavendish: You are both correct. The French do not like to fight, the soldiers in the movie were really Germans dressed up as French.

Dear Editor: This may be a rather silly question, but can one get mononucleosis from kissing the Blarney Stone?

Alfred Flemingfinger
Dublin, Ireland

Dear Alfred: First of all Alfred, there are no silly questions, only stupid ones. Now to answer your question. No. A person cannot get mono from kissing the Blarney Stone. But one can really get all kinds of weird shit from kissing Amy Winehouse.

-TNT-

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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