Written by Scott Brunskill
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Tuesday, 1 June 2010

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I caught of with Kate Haannii of flyersrights dot something and had the chance to ask her a few questions about Tarmac Delay legislation.

Me: Kate, which part of the new Tarmac rules are you most happy with?

Kate: When you board a flight and it pushes from the gate, the airline must feed and water you within 2 hours. That is crucial. People should not be expected to eat before they travel, or spend money buying food at the airport. You can follow me on twitter or send me money on my website.

Me: When thunderstorms constrain airspace enroute, or impact an airport terminal, how can you expect anything but lengthy delays?

Kate: That is where my organization comes in. We have loudly declared that weather is unacceptable and must be stopped.

Me: Suppose weather cannot be stopped and somehow continues to happen, should the airline cancel full flights with no available seats in the near future?

Kate: Of course not. Just takeoff, and get me to where I want to go. This is not rocket surgery.

Me: If the air traffic system is like the highway/road system, and thunderstorms are like car wrecks, wouldn't driving delays be similar to flying delays? Unavoidable?

Kate: Good point, I will start a website and get the Government to stop delays while driving.

Me: What?

Kate: Look, the airlines claim that they don't control the weather, and that ATC; that is short for Air Traffic Control which is what us on the inside say; controls the airspace, then it is clear that simply hiring every person that is unemployed to work for the airlines, ATC, and the weather; we could wipe out unemployment and have every flight ontime. We do not support hiring illegals for these jobs, we are steadfast in our belief that only doing things legal can keep illegality from destroying the legal things.

Me: That doesn't make sense.

Kate: Exactly. It is up to all of us, and the Government, to keep people from becoming victims of lateness as it relates to clocks and time. Did I mention you can follow me on twitter and donate money to me on my website?

Me: Yes you did. When thunderstorms are near an airport, and lightning is in the vicinity, airports and airlines do not allow ramp agents outside for their own safety. If planes can keep landing, but outbound flights cannot push from the gate, should an airline divert inbound flights to prevent any delay getting to a gate to deplane?

Kate: Hell no. A diversion is why I went nuts. Either some rampers are going to have to take a lightning strike for the team, or the millions of people hired on the weather team are going to stop the weather.

Me: Eh....

Kate: Don't forget to click donate on my website.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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