Written by KendoMonkey
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Thursday, 27 May 2010

image for Man kills his grandfather during time-travel; finds out his Grandmother was sleeping around "So put your little hand in mine..."

When Yorkshireman Bob Ecclesfield invented a time-machine, it must seemed that he was going to have a lot of grand days ahead of him. However, one particular time adventure turned out to be more interesting than he imagined.

Bob, 43, wanted to know what a paradox felt like. He decided to go for the ol' chestnut of trying to kill his Grandfather in order to see whether he would end up being a completely different person once he travelled back to his own time. Would he have a moustache, perhaps? Or would something paradoxical happen that would mean he didn't invent a time-machine in order to go back and kill the grandfather in the first place? Who knew! It was boggle-minding.

So when Bob went back in time he decided to do it in the cleanest way possible: he killed his Grandfather by materialising the machine straight through the middle of his Grandfather's body.

When Bob arrived home, however, he was shocked to find that nothing about his life had changed at all.

It was then that he realised that his Grandfather wasn't actually his Grandfather at all. Sadly, his Grandmother had many other "men friends" and he still doesn't know for sure who he really is.

Bob is now sad.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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