Written by Jaggedone
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Tags: Lies, Men

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

image for UK scientific evidence proves that men are a bunch of liars! Caught being a lying bastard by his wife, now he's getting the whip, lovely!

A UK scientific survey has proved what we all knew already, men are prolific liars and women just lie (down) now and then.

Mums and wives are the most lied too people, obviously.

When men were naughty little boys that's where the lying begins i.e:

1) Mum, I didn't get that bitch pregnant, it was her fault she opened her legs.
2) Mum, I didn't "nick" that money out of your wallet it was Dad.
3) Mum, It wasn't my fault that I crashed Dads car, that blind twat just would not get over and that breathalyser, well all police are lying bastards anyway, please don't tell Dad though!

etc, etc.

When men get older they implement the same strategies and lie their butts off to their wives, i.e:

1) Darling sorry, I was pissed when I fondled your best friends boobs, I promise it will never happen again (liar).

2) Darling, I was late last night because my mates handcuffed me to the bar, sorry.

3) Darling, I am true and honest to you and those strange text messages are the wrong number.

4) Darling, I didn't spend the household money getting pissed it was all my mates fault, they forced me, sorry.

and last not least the biggest lie of all

5) Darling, I love you, only you alone and will only ever have eyes for you (please excuse me I've just puked).

There you have it the male race are just a bunch of lying bastards and women believe us (nearly) always (thank God)!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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