Written by Earl Grey

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Tags: NHS, Survey

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for NHS Leadership Questionnaire Hospital consultants were looking so camp these days

Thank you, member of NHS staff, for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. Please fill it in anonymously and return it in the envelope provided.

1. You are working on a busy ward, full of elderly patients. One of the patients is in extreme discomfort and wants urgent assistance. You are busy helping another patient. Do you:

a) drop whatever you are doing and rush to help

b) tell the patient that you will be with her very soon

c) produce your Waffen SS Service pistol and place one shot behind her ear

2. Meal time on the children's ward. One child is crying and will not eat his meal. Do you:

a) take time to find out what is wrong with the child, to comfort him and reassure him

b) make sure the other children are fed first, then come to help

c) shoot the child as an example to all the others as what can happen to the weak

3. The hospital entrance is being redecorated and the staff have been asked for their input. You suggest:

a) bright, friendly colours in a bid to help patients to relax

b) neutral colours in a bid to make the building functional

c) errecting gates with the line 'Arbeit Macht Frei' across the top

4. A company gives you a survey asking your opinions on good leadership. You say:

a) The Dalai Llama shows wonderful leadership and is a kind, caring character

b) Gordon Brown tries hard as a leader, he cares, but maybe he isn't very good

c) enough of this shit, round all the sick and foreigners up and we can have a big fire in the car park

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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