Written by Ed Ihtors
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Sunday, 9 May 2010

image for Mother's Day In Beaver I got a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret from my son. He's so sweet.

It's Mother's Day, the one day of the year when women get their well deserved recognition.

We asked area mothers how they celebrated this special day. Here's what they had to say:

Laura "I just had my first child six months ago. My husband gave me a bathroom scale and a membership to Curves, so I can lose that last ten pounds. I look forward to him taking interest in me again when I do."

Susan "My kids drew me an email. I have such talented children!"

Cindy "My daughter apologized to me for all the damage she had done on her way out, and paid for me to get vaginoplasty done. She's really grown to appreciate me more ever since she had a child of her own."

Rachel "Our youngest just left the house for college this year. My husband surprised me with a dog today, so I'd still have something to take care of. It was a very thoughtful gift."

Janet "I got a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret from my son. He's so sweet."

Megan "My children cooked me breakfast in bed, and my husband told me not to worry about the dishes until tomorrow. I'm so thankful for the day off."

Sarah "I got a new vacuum cleaner from my husband. Thanks to its cyclonic action, I won't have to pick his toenails out of the carpet by hand anymore!"

Lisa "My husband let me perform oral sex on him for mother's day. I'm so fortunate."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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